Excerpt From Dumbest Criminals

THUGS

A thug is defined as a violent person, especially a criminal. Thugs are usually thought of as “outlaws,” who operate outside of polite society and make their living through criminal means. Historically a thug was a member of a religious cult of robbers and assassins in India. Thugs were devotees of the Hindu goddess Kali. The thugs were known to have a ritual wherein they would waylay and strangle their victims who were usually travelers. The cult was suppressed in the 1830’s by the British colonials.

The word thug derives from the Hindi language word “thag” which meant a swindler or bad person. The verb thuggee in India meant the robbery and murder practiced by the thugs according to their rituals.

In America we often assume that thugs are shady and dangerous people who will do all type of untoward things for their own gain.

This chapter is about some of the dumbest modern day thugs you will ever read about. Read on.

CALIFORNIA: You can’t cut out the middle man after a murder. A San Jose man who wanted to confess to a murder decided to cut out the middle man. So Hugh Castro, 28, turned himself in the Santa Clara County Jail. However, after he repeatedly told guards he had strangled his girlfriend, the guards transported Castro to the local police station where he was arrested.

CONNECTICUT: She needed a spell checker on her key. A 20-year-old woman from Stamford, who was seeking revenge on her philandering boyfriend allegedly, used a key to scratch the word “wore” into the side of the victim’s vehicle. Police report. Obviously, she meant to scratch the word “whore.” Nevertheless, the misspelling landed her in jail on a second-degree criminal mischief charge.

FLORIDA: What kind of dance was it? We learn a young man was having a good time dancing on the top of a parked Hillsborough County sheriff’s police car and sipping from a bottle of brandy/ Emanuel Figueroa, 20, even spit at the deputy arresting him. Figueroa was charged with threats against a police officer and other charges.
The Professor has delighted in telling you stories from his first two book series, Dumbest Criminal Law Stories and Weird Criminal Law Stories. Now he writes for fun and your enjoyment in his latest, Professor Birdsong’s Dumbest Thieves, Thugs, & Rogues. These stories are some of the best from around the world and should bring you many good laughs. For instance:

A thief in Phoenix just released from County jail on drug charges ran laps around the jail celebrating his freedom, then tried to carjack a truck belonging to the jail.

The Miami man arrested for stealing a corpse from a casket at a funeral home. An Orlando bandit who broke into a convenience store by bashing in the front door with his head.

The awkward thief who burglarized an Albuquerque home only to be confronted by the 66-year- old wife and her 70-year- old husband who held him at gunpoint in his car loaded with their household possession until police arrived.

The San Jose thug who confessed to murder by cutting out the middle man and presented himself to the Santa Clara County jail with his confession.

An impatient Wendy’s drive-thru customer in Chicago, so hungry he opened fire on another driver who tried to cut in front of him;

The thug who was sentenced to a year in jail for trying to sell a backpack of dirty socks as marijuana.

The Norwegian prisoner gone rogue who used a surfboard to escape from an island prison.

A Frenchman suspended from his job with pay for 12 years who sought compensation of $500,000 because he claimed his career was ruined.

And so many other stories about dumb thieve, thugs, and rogues that will make you laugh out loud.

Buy it on $2.99 Amazon or Free with your Kindle Unlimited Subscription

About the author:

Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked four years at the law firm of Baker Hostetler. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. He served as a diplomat with the U.S. State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, and before he began teaching, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice in Washington, D.C.

Find Pfr Birdsong on his website and on Twitter @Prof_Birdsong, on Literary Addicts and Goodreads.

Professor Birdsong is giving away a $20 Amazon Gift Card to one lucky winner. Fill out the widget below to enter.